![]() ![]() I’ll try to update the file link when I think of it in the future. That’s just the nature of this ever-evolving beast. I know I’ll be refining it as long as I use it. Today I’m sharing a BDSM checklist that I’ve put together. Certainly it’s impossible to develop an exhaustive list of things to try, but even still some lists cater more towards styles of play I enjoy, and some are far from useful to me specifically. There are some I find to be too complicated, and others too simplistic. Sometimes I get annoyed that a checklist’s language is different from what I’m used to, or the list comes off as too heteronormative or less than gender inclusive. You can find a bunch of them online, and over the years I’ve found examples which work more or less to my satisfaction. If your attachment style is causing you some distress and affecting your well-being, consider seeking the support of a professional.A helpful tool I frequently use with new subs and trainees is the BDSM checklist. If you want to work toward a secure attachment style and are having a hard time, or simply want more guidance, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for help. In adulthood, this attachment style is often associated with mental health conditions, such as mood disorders or personality disorders.Ĭhanging attachment styles is possible. If you have this attachment style, your behaviors may appear confusing - you might be aloof one day and emotional the next. The actions and behaviors of their caregivers may not have been consistent. Disorganized (aka fearful-avoidant): Children with this attachment style, which is also considered an insecure attachment style, can seem confused at times. ![]() You may also have an intense fear of rejection or being abandoned and alone. If you have this attachment style, you might have a tendency to be jealous and not trust others. Anxious (aka anxious-ambivalent): Also considered an insecure attachment style, children with anxious attachment styles may be clingy and crave attention from their caregivers, but may also then push them away.Because of this, adults with an avoidant attachment style may have a hard time trusting others and have a strong sense of independence. They may have felt rejected and left to fend for themselves. Children with this style likely didn’t seek out their caregivers during distress. As a child, your caregivers may have been emotionally distant or absent. Avoidant (aka anxious-avoidant): This type of style is considered an insecure attachment style.Adults with this style are able to navigate relationships well and are generally loving and trusting toward others. Infants with a secure attachment style were likely soothed by their caregivers when they were upset. They were sensitive to your needs and often responded appropriately. ![]()
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